Saturday, May 3, 2014

Weary Feet

I have been trying to blog a bit more lately.  I follow several of these Christian women bloggers who are brave and real on their blogs.  As I have contemplated my spiritual temperature lately, I have been a little lonely recently.  In the past year, I have lost three friends, in different ways.  One was from the hard realization of different expectations from our relationship.  One left the mission field and life just took her in a different direction.  The other will always be a friend but I lost her physical presence in my life.  Really, all three have been extremely difficult for me.  

So, why am I writing this?  I'm not sure.  I really have been avoiding this post for a couple of weeks.  It has been rolling around in my heart and mind for a while.  I would start a post and then delete it, not sure really what to say.  

Loss is a part of life.  We all have lost things and people that are valuable to us.  As we have been away from the States for almost five years now, one of the hardest things for me is the lost of relationships.  We loose the every day connection with our families.  When we come back to the States for Stateside Assignments, it is hard just to plop down into their lives again for 5-6 months.  Our children have lost relationships with grandparents, cousins and friends they had five years ago.  Even on the mission field, people seem to always be coming and going in our lives.  It is hard on my heart and sometimes, these 'beautiful feet' are a bit weary.  

I would not change the life we lead because it is what the Lord has called us to do.  We have not doubt that we are right where the Lord wants us.  We take comfort in knowing that He is always in control and that he redeems everything for His glory.  There is nothing better than living a life of obedience, no matter where you are and no matter what the Lord has asked you to do.  At times, we just feel the cost a bit more than other times.  
Below are some quotes from Jim Elliot that really fit in my life right now:

Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living.

The will of God is always bigger than we bargain for, but we must believe that whatever it involves; it is good, acceptable and perfect.

Wherever you are, be all there!  Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.


Jeanne said...

Praying for you, friend! I remember that lonely weariness well. In all honesty, that loneliness continues somewhat even though we are back in the States permanently. I'm praying for you....encouragement, strength, friendships, endurance. Thanks for sharing your heart! Hugs!!

Shelley said...

Your story is touching! So thankful for all the work you and your family are doing! I pray His richest blessings on you all! I wonder if you would mind telling me where you found the picture at the top of this blog with Romans 10:15 on it? Thank you so much! :-)